Bonjour Mon Ami,

The clock strikes twelve, the bubbly has been flowing for a little while now. You turn to your group of close friends to wish them the very best for the New Year. Inevitably, the topic turns to resolutions. We are filled with hope and optimism for the new year. The slate has been wiped clean, we stand a little taller and list all the ways we are going to be better this year. This is going to be our year to shine. In the dark reaches of our booze-addled minds we cringe at the dumpster-fire that was the previous year’s resolutions. Pushing it aside and think “This year is going to be different!” Why, because I am going to throw my full heart and soul into being better, doing more, being more…   

Sound familiar, well it certainly is for me, I always start the year with such gusto, and a pep in my step, that no-one can stand in my way, and inevitably by March I find myself at the bottom of a tub of ice-cream on the couch watching some re-run of a show I don’t care about, feeling like an abject failure. So, this year I want to be better, but not by resolving myself to be better, doesn’t make sense? Stick with me…

A huge reason why we fail in our resolutions is that we are thinking too big, too much, too far! We have this notion that we can do anything by then end of a year, things that are not necessarily realistic. For example; me wanting to run a marathon, nice idea but I can barely run a kilometre and quite frankly, my ankles are made of spaghetti, and I hate running. But, making such a resolution sounds damn sexy, doesn’t it?

Most of us make several resolutions for the upcoming year, according to a Forbs survey 66,5% of the people asked, said they had three or more resolutions for the following year. Most common among these are; exercise more, lose weight, get organised, learn a new skill or hobby, learn a language, travel, work on mental health, save money, make more money, quit smoking or drinking etc.. while these are all noble pursuits, what has stopped you before?

Let’s go back to this idea of “too big”, reaching a goal like running a marathon can be broken down into countless smaller steps, but rather than making a smaller step our resolution we choose the glamours option. Here is my unsolicited advice, and what I plan to do this year, I choose to think small, small for me is achievable, it is buildable and sustainable.

 Last year, I discovered I have an auto-immune disease and to help cope with that I began walking every day, it started off small, just a km or two at first and by the end of the year up to five daily. I am happy with this, it is my time to think and plan, stretch my legs, so instead of trying to push for ten, which let’s be honest who has the time. I would rather try remaining consistent and continue this, sure I could try go a little quicker, but as I said spaghetti ankles.

I think the best thing we can do is be kind to ourselves. Yes, we want to improve and grow as people but find a way that is going to make you feel good too. Pushing an already burdened schedule with huge life altering life choices might not be the way to go. We want to be healthy; this may start by putting down the third slice of cake, limiting your alcohol to weekends rather than a dry January, going for a walk around the block, joining a class, buying a new pair of pyjamas (shameless plug).

My grandfather always said, “There is no greater feeling that that of achievement.” So set yourself up to achieve, rather loads of small victories than failing the unattainable. Anyway, what do I know I am just a keyboard warrior figuring this out for myself. If you need to use this to prove me wrong in an “I’ll show you manner!” I will be waiting to cheer you on.  

With far too much said, I wish you a happy 2024, with countless small victories along the way. I am curious too, what are some of your resolutions?

Lots of Love, 

Kim

For more information and if you want to see what actual experts have to say check out the below:

https://theconversation.com/the-psychology-of-new-years-resolutions-51847

https://www.verywellmind.com/why-new-years-resolutions-fail-6823972#:~:text=Some%20reasons%20include%20the%20idea,not%20be%20ready%20for%20change.

https://www.goskills.com/Soft-Skills/Resources/Top-10-new-years-resolutions

Resources used:

Cynthia Vinney, P. (2024) The psychology behind why New Year’s resolutions fail, Verywell Mind. Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/why-new-years-resolutions-fail-6823972#:~:text=Some%20reasons%20include%20the%20idea,not%20be%20ready%20for%20change. (Accessed: 02 January 2024).

Mark Griffiths                    Director of the International Gaming Research Unit and Professor of Behavioural Addiction (2023) The Psychology of New Year’s resolutions, The Conversation. Available at: https://theconversation.com/the-psychology-of-new-years-resolutions-51847 (Accessed: 02 January 2024).

Zomick, B. (2022) Top 10 most common New Year’s resolutions (and how to follow through on them), GoSkills.com. Available at: https://www.goskills.com/Soft-Skills/Resources/Top-10-new-years-resolutions (Accessed: 02 January 2024).

 Photo by Jill Wellington: https://www.pexels.com/photo/happy-new-year-text-3334355/